Joseph M O'Toole
Memorial Mass
Christ the King Church

February 3, 2001

Eulogy
John R O'Toole

In Memory of
Joseph M O'Toole
March 23, 1915
January 26, 2001

When I must leave you for a little while, 
Please do not grieve and shed wild tears 
And hug your sorrow to you through the years.

But start out bravely with a gallant smile; 
And for my sake and in my name 
Live on and do all the things the same. 

Feed not your loneliness on empty days. 
But fill each waking hour in useful ways.

Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer 
And in turn I will comfort you And hold you near; 
And never, never be afraid to die 
For I am waiting for you in the sky.

Memorial Mass

Processional
On Eagles' Wings

First Reading
Romans 6:3-4, 8-9
Amy O'Toole

Responsorial Song
Psalm 23, The Lord is My Shepherd

Second Reading
I Corinthians 12:31-13:8a
Lauren O'Toole

Celtic Alleluia

Gospel
Matthew 25:31-46

Homily
Fr Francis G Lammeier

Prayers of the Faithful
Anne Magnan

Presentation of Gifts
PJ Magnan, Joe O'Toole,
Brian O'Toole

Offertory Hymn
Be Not Afraid

Memorial Acclamation
We Remember

Communion Hymn
I am the Bread of Life
How Great Thou Art

Eulogy
John O'Toole

Recessional Hymn
Battle Hymn of the Republic

*

Christian Cashman
Vocalist

Dr Helmut Roehrig
Organist

Edward C Nurre, Jr
Funeral Consultant

     Good Morning. 

     Welcome to the celebration of the life of my father, Joseph O’Toole. 

     Joe was born 85 years ago in Somerville, Massachusetts, the son of Irish immigrants, who- like so many people of that era- came to this country to find a better life. Joe and his brother John grew up in Somerville. Joe attended Tufts University, earning a degree in engineering. After graduating Joe embarked on a 44-year fulfilling and rewarding career with the General Electric Jet Engine Division. 

     At 28 years old, the highlight of my father’s life occurred. He married a charming young lady from Arlington, Massachusetts named Ellen Tierney. They were married in the summer of 1943. The marriage went on for 57 very special years. Carrying on in the Irish Catholic tradition, one year after marriage they had their first child, David. Twelve months later I was born, and following me came Jim, Martha and Peter. 

     In the early 50’s Joe’s career brought the family to Cincinnati. We moved to this community, Mt. Lookout, which wasn’t really convenient for Joe, who worked in Evendale; however our parents wanted to live and raise their children in a neighborhood that had a sense of community. 

     My early memories of my father are of a man who worked long and hard and was dedicated to his family, his career, and to his community. Quite often after dinner Joe was off to various meetings and functions, including the Cub Scouts, the Boy Scouts, school functions and fund raising for United Appeal. He was president of the Xavier University Dads club, and president of the parish council for this church, and active in many more organizations, too numerous to mention. 

     I believe his proudest civic accomplishment was co-founding the Mt. Lookout Swim club. There was opposition for a lot of reasons. And many people did not think it would be viable. Now forty years later it is still here, at the end of this street, as popular as ever. Joe served on the board of the swim club for over twenty years. This was truly a labor of love, showing his sense of determination and community involvement. 

     I recently read a book by Tom Brokaw entitled The Greatest Generation. The book is about ordinary people with an extraordinary sense of honor, integrity, and responsibility.  In reading the book, I could see the parallels with Joe and the members of his generation– a deep sense of commitment to all that was important. 

     While reminiscing with family members this week, we discovered that we share many of the same memories. One was of Christmas. Our family tradition is to gather and open our gifts on Christmas Eve. Joe would always sit in the same chair in the corner of the room, surveying his domain, and taking great pleasure in seeing all his family together. Then the fun would begin. As the young children would begin unwrapping their presents, gift-wrap and boxes would fly– total chaos! Then it would be Joe’s turn. He would take out his pocketknife, methodically cut the tape, then carefully unwrap the paper, and neatly fold the used gift-wrap, and slowly cut open the box. The small children would agonize during the process, thinking they would never get another turn. 

     Joe’s mechanical ability./ Do it yourself.  / No carpenter-plumber-painter-electrician / Cars / Martha-Car / Martha-Dishwasher. 

     I think many of our fond memories revolve around our home in Maine, a place that that my parents really loved. They were fortunate to have been able to spend many years there together, enjoying each other, and the beauty of coastal Maine. My daughters had the pleasure of being able to spend many summers with Ellen and Joe. They either had summer jobs there or went to school nearby and visited on weekends they always commented on how good my parents were to each other, often referring to them as “such a cute couple”. 

     Over the years my friends and my children’s friends would also visit. Many of them would go back to see my parents even if we weren’t there, knowing that they were always welcome.  

     Lauren commented to me that every morning Joe would say “What a fine Maine day” even if it were rainy or foggy. We really think he meant that he was grateful to be able to live in such a beautiful place, enjoying good health and a loving wife. Also in knowing that his children and grandchildren would by flowing through all summer long. 

     Our vision of Joe and Maine would not be complete without his bike. My father liked to exercise. In the winters when he was in Cincinnati, he would go to Xavier University most mornings and swim a mile. He would do this well into his 70’s. When in Maine, weather permitting, first thing every morning he would ride his bike to church. He would also run his errands on his bike, or just go for a scenic ride along the shore road. When he was 73 his old bike wore out. I remember how proud he when he got his new 12-speed bike at that age. I laugh at remembering his wobbly start, and then off he would go looking like some character out of an old Irish movie. 

     Like many men of his generation, he was often quiet and stoic. Two exceptions I remember vividly. In a conversation with my brother Jim shortly after he retired he said, “ If I were to leave this earth tomorrow I would have no regrets. I have had a beautiful life and also have had everything I have ever wanted.” Fortunately there were many more years ahead for him. 

     A few years later he said to me, “Do you know what really pleases me?” And I asked him what that was. His answer was that he is proud that all his children get along so well and that they care for each other. In addition, the spouses of his married children fit in the same way. He was especially proud of his seven grandchildren. Even thought they live far apart and span 33 years in age, they too love each other and enjoy each other’s company. 

     That doesn’t just happen. That is a tribute to both Ellen and Joe and the example they set for all of us. 

    When Joe left us last week, I was thinking about him and knowing that he was going to better place. We are taught about a judgment day. I have a simplistic view of that concept. We know how we lived our life. I don’t think we need anyone to tell us. I clearly see Joe, in that split second when the earth stopped and he got off. He gave his usual quick nod and smile, and he knew that he had left this world better than he found it. 

    He is gone now, but he has left the best behind. When I look in the eyes of my mother, and in the eyes of my brothers and sister, and my daughters, and my nieces and nephews, I see the honor, the integrity, and the love that defined Joe. And for that legacy we are forever grateful. 

     And we are grateful to all of you for sharing you day with us. Thank you so very much.